hooba survives thanksgiving

hooba here

apologies for being awol but hooba has been a bit under the weather and really just needed a timeout from the rigors of opening a restaurant. just when i thought i had overcome the first bit of illness for the season round two snuck up on me a day or so later. nothing serious but enough to keep my profile low. i know many of you appreciate a low or no profile from yours truly but i try to remain in the loop even if it's my own personal squirrel cage. makes me think of the endless circular motion that at times qualifies as life. hooba prefers linear with a few ups and downs to keep him honest.

the extrememly large turkey sandwich that was constructed for consumption last thursday was quite a hit for the folks that showed up but alas we were a few people short of a full house and there was plenty of sandwich left to eat. no problem as the temperature in the winery was such that it made for a great next day feast for those who journeyed up to the tasting room. word around town was positive and so we'll do another sometime soon for another special occasion. i'm always soliciting suggestions for a new tradition for any holiday and welcome yours. i will say this it was more work than i anticipated and if you're inclined to do so yourself i might encourage you to think twice as there are professionals out there that do an adequate job to save you a lot of work. i doubt we'll feature it on the menu here at hooba's.


speaking of the menu we are in the final process of refining it and are still up in the air about a couple of dishes that would bring great pleasure to the customers. the organ meat still is undecided and that vegetarian part of the population has still not weighed in on their options. i would encourage those of you to do so as the time is getting short. hooba thinks vegetarian has plenty of options and if i had my way it will exclude tofu. i do have my way so it will be sans tofu. any objections? i'll keep the lasagne meat free and have a seafood item or two so that should cover all the bases. as a voter i think the likelihood of a female president is greater than a vegetarian in power. you gotta have meat to secure that red state vote if i do say so myself. no more politics today and probably throughout the holidays.

hooba's all about peace on earth and good will toward men, not just for christmas but throughout the year. if you saw any video on the news about last friday's shopping frenzy you could see for yourself that good will toward men had a day off. my question is when we're killing each other over a playstation 3 what does that say about the christmas spirit? hooba decided years ago that the commercialization of the holidays had flattened any hope of a civil attitude that included kindness and sharing. correct me if i'm wrong. in the spirit of kindness and giving we'll take a shot at getting those who need it more of the christmas cheer and for hooba that usually includes egg nog and other seasonal libations. send us your favorite seasonal libation recipe for huge discounts here at the restaurant. if they're drinkable and sufficiently spread cheer you'll be notified of your success. i look forward to the input.


hooba will end this spiel with a hearty congrats to his alma maters' basketball team for their fine effort against the number one team in the land--those florida gators--after nearly letting one get away at the end of regulation we regrouped in overtime to seal the victory. it's early yet but hooba likes what he saw.

rock chalk hooba the snowbound

hooba loves any organ

hooba here


i've spent the last two days back in camas wandering through the old haunts and checking on friends. my guess is they're not likely to forget yours truly anytime soon. in the spirit of gossip hooba decided to tell some of the locals that he's going to be a father. the look of amazement on the faces of the lucky few who get to pass on this information was truly a sight to behold. realizing that most were inclined to think of parenthood i didn't bother to tell them i was really thinking about entering the monastery. the mere fact that most of these places make wine is enough for me to consider giving up on this endeavor to consider the spiritual life. as most of you know i'm all about spirits and in particular those which manifest themselves after spending a year or so inside an oak barrel. the rigor and discipline required to maintain the lifestyle of the brotherhood caused me to reconsider at the last minute so i will probably rethink my life of sacrifice and celibacy. that celibacy thing is not necessarily what i think but what the opposite sex has in mind. if i had any idea what they had in mind i could profit handsomely.


that brings me to the weekly update of my escapades surfing the web in hopes of cyberdating. i'll try to be nice and hold my tongue but if the results are any indication hooba and celibacy will be a match.com made in heaven. not that i'm looking for a tawdry affair or roll in the hay but i must admit that many of the available women are disguising their intentions while inferring it's all about cuddling and pda's. call me old fashioned if you must but hooba can cuddle about as much as cats can swim. don't get me started on pda's as i'm generally the person shouting "get a room" when i see any couple engaged in a lip lock, grope session that would lead me or anybody else to think that sex while still fully clothed is par for the course. nothing against golf mind you and hooba knows what you're thinking about that hole in one thing. innuendo aside many of the displays of public affection nowadays make me think myself a bit of a prude. correct me if i'm wrong but methinks if you're getting your kicks putting on a show at the bar or restaurant one can only imagine what's left when it's time to get down to business when nobody's watching. i'll continue to carry the torch for wholesome and proper.


my friend joel and i decided it's time to start making this place look like the wine shop/bar and restaurant it's going to be so we started pulling the wine out of the boxes and merchandising them for the sake of the nonexistent customers who have been frequenting hooba's. i will say this we've got some smokin' wines and vintages and that in itself whould be reason enough to at least come check the place out. should that not be enough i've been doing some more menu design and with the input from my friend the senator i have decided that no menu is complete without organ meat. the french call them offals=awful, hooba and his friends refer to them as gizzzards, liver, tongue, and well you get the idea. many of you ate such delicacies as youngsters in the form of bologna and god forbid hot dogs. i was fortunate that i stopped by the local butcher shop on sunday and sampled some of the best organs available disguised as liver and bacon loaf as well as head cheese. hooba endured many meals in his youth that had some jello concoction garnished with things such as carrots, raisins, and cottage cheese. i'm here to tell you that the same gelatin we were duped into believing was such a swell deal is even better in it's colorless form garnished with chunks of offals. braunschweiger and liver loaf are really just poor mans pate and foie gras. if those peta folks have their way there'll be no such thing to enjoy soon. you can rest assured that liver loaf and hot dogs are well beyond their reach. i would encourage you all to swallow your pride and sample that which is becoming a relic in the food world. let me know what you think. the menu will reflect the feedback i receive and quite honestly you may even ask what that fine dish you can't identify consisted of. be brave.


i'll leave you all with this thought--i got a new cd courtesy of joel that is a bluegrass cover of def leppard and i can only say that it's better than anything the imposters ever did. check it out if you don't believe me. why would you believe hooba? it's not so offal.



au revoir hooba the organ grinder

hooba's cabinet

hooba here


the results are in and thanks to all of you who voted. don't you feel better now knowing that a thumpin' was administered with this election. our fearless leader described the events as a "thumpin'" for his party and while i must admit i've been to a few parties where thumpins' were a part of the festivities, none were politically motivated. generally elevated testosterone seemed to be the platform that encouraged the discourse to morph into a free for all that usually ended up with local law enforcement types involved. most of you realize that hooba doesn't need much motivation to party and prefers to keep politics out of the equation while consuming adult beverages. when or if i do decide to run, i find that out the back door is your best bet. you can always get the car later. so i guess if you're a democrat let the party begin but please don't use the same tired excuses to explain your lack of leadership as i tend toward originality even if it's not quite the truth. we look forward to the next excercise in the constitutional process. not that i'm advocating excercise mind you but hey the experts suggest we raise our heart rates on occasion and therefore i'll go get a beer and be right back.



in the spirit of leadership and bi-partisan cooperation hooba is exploring the possibility of assembling a cabinet for his new venture. the kitchen itself lacks even the most basic or rudimentary storage facilities but that won't stop me from fashioning a space capable of holding every piece of equipment and utensil imaginable. i spent the afternoon rearranging the 400 sq. ft. or so that comprises the kitchen and found that with some imagination i could transform my work area into a cross between the city dump--we call them transfer stations here in husum--and a version inspired by extreme makeover. picture if you can a large square. put a smaller square inside the larger one and you'll get an idea of the flow. all kitchens need flow and if it keeps raining flow will take on a new meaning as the leak in the roof is right in the middle. this is a very scientific process designed to eliminate wasted steps, motions, space, and thought. now you see where i come into the mix as wasted thought is generally the result i have when trying to do something scientific. hooba is a creative, right side of the brain type animal and thus has to think and rethink the entire process constantly. since i have no cabinets you can begin to see my dilemma and why it's better to be creative rather than scientific. i think back to algebra and realize now exactly what pie are square means. i'm befuddled--this might require another beer. the ceiling height discourages hanging anything as my head tends to notice that most everything is too low. i avoided the thumpins' at most of the parties but the ceiling will make up for lost time and my head has enough knots already. as geoff goldblum said in his remake of "the fly" help me, help me.


many of you are curious as to how hooba's will be staffed. i'll take my cue from the executive branch of our government and create meaningless puppet positions--i.e. fema-- for the sake of a least appearing to be a fine dining establishment. you are likely familiar with those charts that look like a family tree. thankfully my family tree had many branches but that won't keep me from constructing something innovative and cutting edge. there are those who think our tree needs a little trimming with yours truly the first to be pruned but hooba thrives on skeptics. i'll be the chef, sous chef, line cook, prep cook, pantry person, saucier, poissonier, entremetier, patisserie, boulangerie, dishwasher, pot scrubber, janitor, and handyman. i like hats. the front of the house will be staffed by my new asst. and all round professional wait person the one and only dawn. she has local cred and a legion of diners willing to follow her to the trough. trust me if we don't find anymore help soon we'll be serving from a trough. that would certainly make my job easier. those of you from the midwest might remember those feedlots that seemed to be very efficient at feeding large numbers of critters in a very short time. we're all about efficiency here at hooba's. seriously it's all about the food not necessarily the presentation. correct me if i'm wrong. when you're ready to strap on the feed bag we'll be here with the oats.


i'm off to the refrigerator again so i'll leave you with the musings of one frank zappa--i am the chrome dinette, i am the eggs of all persuasions--when you visit you'll get it. we're toying with the idea of bringing your own plate. se ya around like a donut.



hooba the perplexed

but did you vote?

hooba here---


we'll cut to the chase. did you vote? i repeat did you vote? ok then shut up if you didn't. nothing hooba hates worse than a bunch of mealy mouthing, whiny, hand wringing doom sayers telling us all how things continue to go from bad to worse when in fact a good percentage of them forgot the one critical element for maintaining this lifestyle we call democracy. if the local gubernatorial ads are any indication we'll eventually all be stuck with those same folks in charge of our descent into the septic system of demise. hooba promotes clean and ethical. i would encourage appropriate participation in this inalienable rite we each have just for living here. as many of you may have noticed the days of "love it or leave it" are long gone. getting here is obstacle enough for most and leaving won't happen unless our paranoia overwhelms the main guiding principles of the founding fathers--"life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness"--and building a wall to keep people out is our answer to illegal immigration? hooba's question is "what was so legal about the pilgrims"immigrating back in 1629 or whenever? i've got better things to do.


speaking of the pursuit of happiness, yours truly spent the weekend in walla walla researching the minutiae and mundane for the restaurant. how much wine can one person drink? that was not the task at hand rather a long overdue introduction to a nice young lady who has attracted the fancy of your proprietor. with over 70 tasting rooms one can easily be overwhelmed with choices so i opted for the most likely. spending time with an attractive local female was more fun than sampling the well crafted local vintages. we did make our way to a handful of wineries and even helped with some production. i'll keep you posted on the results. that pie chart is now a necessity to track the totals for hooba's match.com escapades. let just say my date redeemed the female population of said internet dating service. she actually is as she had advertised which is saying something nowadays. re: political ads. to say that hooba deserves better than most out there can offer is a fact so i don't mind saying it. mealy mouthing ain't cuttin' it for me either so we'll indulge in shameless self promotion and ego inflation. should we set a date i'll need a caterer as yours truly will be busy. i'm easy but lil' smokies in bbq sauce is a little beneath the mrs. the more silverware the better.


at the urging of many of my future local patrons i will address the decor of hooba's. i prefer motif as my decorating adjective because it speaks volumes more than decor. my inspiration was slow in coming but with the onset of elk hunting season the answer hit me like a 30-06 shell right between the eyes. what colors define hunting more than orange and camoflage? trust me camoflage is a color just check out the wedding photos in some of those small ozark burgs and you'll see what i mean. if it's good enough for the bride and groom it's got hooba's written all over it. i'm thinking shades of brown, green, grey, and that smoking blue which has popped into the "camo" vernacular, so to speak, with a panache that trumpets fine, casual dining at it's understated, and barely noticeable best. ambiance aside the interior of our establishment will make you feel like you're not there to be seen or heard and with the racket from the kitchen a few short feet away being heard will be impossible. we anticipate that our customers will blend into the space in much the same way many of our ingredients do to create these fabulous meals that we'll have trouble duplicating for years to come--should we survive the first. to offset the blending of the surroundings we'll be the only establishment that i'm aware of to feature the boldness of hunter safety orange as a table accent. accent my ass we're going all the way by using it for our table cloths. starched black napkins will dull the gleam of the silverware and help "camoflage" any food particles or scum that may be stuck to the utensils and silverware even after they've been washed and sanitized. the mishmash of chipped and cracked china, bric-a-brac, and goofy vases and candles will be a visual feast with that orange background and will shout a warning much like the color that inspired it. i can't be happier with this bit of inspiration because it has been causing many sleepless nights tossing and turning and worrying about the visual impact the restaurant will make. i learned years ago that if they don't remember the food they'll at least come back one more time to try and remember what was so memorable about the place. we can't guarantee your safety after sundown so get here early for numerous reasons, especially during the winter months. enough said.


we'll address other concerns in the future but for now i'll bid adieu as the rain has found it's way to the kitchen floor which means either i have a leak or it's raining sideways. both are a likely possibility. i've got a pot of smoking green chile stew waiting to be consumed and hopefully you'll get your chance soon. saddam's guilty? are you kidding me? how'd oj get off? a jury of your peers is another thing that voting insures. i'll be on jury duty. until next time.


hooba the mindless

dias de las muertos

hooba here--


i've been in a funk for the past few days so apologies to those of you who haven't read any of this. we're still searching for that first hit. when i last wrote we were wrangling with an opening date for husum's fine new dining establishment and we may have penciled in a date, now we just need to narrow it down to what year. i have however had a moment or two of inspiration regarding the menu and am ready to streamline and refine it. we will include a "spackler special" for our guests and whichever one of you can identify for whom said dish is named you'll be the lucky recipient of one on your next visit. the descriptions of the menu items will be brief to avoid scrutinizing those with verbal and culinary shortcomings as you would hate to be ridiculed or scorned for being ignorant of the most basic understanding. hooba prides himself on being able to confuse his customers with simple descriptive adjectives. think basic and you will have a good idea of what the menu will be.


now to more important things. i survived halloween and the obligatory parties that require costumes while thinking to myself what the attraction is to trying to be "someone we're not" for a day. i realized that most of the zealous participants probably wished they were someone else. my choice for best costume went to "jacques custodian" who outfitted himself as a scuba diver with cleaning supplies. he danced remarkably well with flippers. two hours and two beers were about all i could stand so i returned to my normal state and planned for the trick or treat activities ahead. the little scamps were a tad sparse here in the country and some of that might have been because word got around that hooba was giving away hot sauce packets from taco bell. i found a drawer full of them and thought what better way to use them rather than throw them in the trash. a little spice to temper that sugar rush seemed the best way to keep the ghouls on an even keel for the remainder of the evening. it seemed at the time a novel way to educate the local adolescent population who will soon be the hosts or hostesses of the halloween parties of the future. whatever happened to bobbing for apples? enlighten hooba please!

i wandered back to camas yesterday to tend to landlord chores and was surprised at the number of people who actually missed me and inquired about my new venture. many of the folks are envious of yours truly and wish they could escape to anywhere even if it's just one night at a halloween party. i offered my sympathy and encouraged them to come visit as hooba's will be home to the poor, tired, huddled masses for which the statue of liberty no longer has any use. hooba will not discriminate. speaking of discrimination i have been the victim of such treatment by many of the women of match.com. as you know i'm seeking my true love via the internet and quite honestly the results have been disappointing. next summers family reunion is still in the planning stages but i think it time i found a woman to introduce as mrs. hooba and hopefully make the nuptials part of the festivities. what better way to say family than by marrying a gal with five or six kids needing a father figure and role model for the nippers. i am seeking some input from you technophiles as to how to construct a pie chart to attach to the blog for keeping score with this match/not a match.com activity. i'm off to walla walla on sat. for another meeting with a potential match. i'll let you know how it goes.


today is daniel boone's birthday so we'll end with a fitting quote by him---
"i have never been lost but admit to being confused for a couple of weeks"--rather fitting for hooba


enjoy the feast of the day of the dead adios hooba