greetings from the land of oz

hooba here

i've returned to the land of my birth and am just tickled to be here for visits with friends, family, my alma mater, and the landscape which so many of you in the great northwest consider to be flat and non-descript. a much needed respite from the grind provoked a trip to the midwest for the cure. kansas my friends is not a place to drive through or fly over and think that you've seen all you need to. i'll enlighten should you continue reading.

i flew into kansas city yesterday to experience life in missouri for about an hour. winter is steadfast in january and the cold, wind and snow had many at the airport questioning my fashion sense. most of you realize i lack sense and pants so shorts are probably what most of the locals consider abnormal. i beg to differ as the increased circulation inspires the faculties. my intial observation of the portly airport cops made me wonder why airport food gets such a bad rap. if these dudes missed the low fat wrap or salad offered in the concourse i would argue that it was by design. they should be wearing shorts and the fat melting waistband versus the kevlar vest. enough about one of the country's worst airports.

my weeklong junket proceeded to the ol' hometown today and i'd be remiss if i didn't alert you to the sign outside emporia that advised that we should accept jesus christ as savior or regret it for life. in an election year it occured to me that allah or any other god should get equal time and billing even here in the bible belt. hooba's all about acknowledging a higher power but to exclude those that others worship seemed a bit narrowminded. after all isn't one of the premises of our fine country the freedom of religion. sounds like eternal damnation is waiting for me at the end of the line should jesus christo and i not be drinking pals. seems i meet more like him in places such as bars. in fact i'll drink more wine as i type and pontificate.

for those of you who reside in the northwest and constantly harp on the winter weather being cold, gray, and rainy i would suggest a trip to a place such as this on a day like today. the damp, sullen, gray skies are of the 180 degree variety. the entire horizon reminds you that those bits of sunshine between clouds at home are non-existent while the fine frozen mist that engulfs the landscape can easily turn driving or walking into a skating adventure unlike anything you've endured elsewhere. it tends to highlight the beauty of the stark surroundings you drive through. wind is a constant factor whether it cuts through or around you and everything else. you become more cognizant of what it takes to survive in a harsh environment that lacks trees and the variety of clouds you're accustomed to seeing. hooba says quit your whining or spend a few weeks in a place such as this to realign your thinking.

this trip will include some r and d for bbq in hopes that we can add it to the menu in the future. i would encourage you to educate yourselves as to what bbq really is. forget the sauce and start with the wood and the smoke. smoked salmon is an entirely different beast or fish as the case may be. remember that salmon doesn't exist where bbq is king. this weekend i anticipate savoring some of the finest kansas city has to offer. i hope to at least duplicate a version in husum that will make the locals proud. don't get me started on mexican food. if you can't cook beans and rice how can you think you could possibly reproduce the original?

i'll leave you with a reminder to look for yours truly wednesday night at allen fieldhouse via espn. my nephew kelly has provided me an opportunity to watch my beloved jayhawks play some hoops and keep their undeafeated season alive. we'll call it ku 89 isu64.


hooba who regrets little if any

like resolutions really matter

happy new year



like most of you i have already rid myself of those nasty resolutions and it's on to the business of facing the daily grind with or without heaters, fat, alcohol, mates, or whatever other person, object, vice, fun, etc. i decide to try and live without for a week or so to begin the new year. now that the road ahead has been cleared for the remaining 51 weeks i can begin to strategize and come up with a real plan for success in 08. i anticipate the year ahead to be chock full o nuts and opportunities to do something different or significant that might just put this little endeavor on the map or at least a short video on you tube whatever the hell that is. my web designer has assured me that a "how to" video on killerburgers will be the shit for you and your tube. i'm thinking more along the lines of cable access myself. if nothing else i will be more resolute on behalf of the blog.





while surfing the cable networks today i ran across a promo for a show that essentially is about extreme makeovers for single wide mobile homes. you know kids where i grew up those makeovers occurred frequently in groups of 10-100 and were usually done simultaneously by none other than the mother of all designers--MOTHER NATURE herself.-- we called them tornadoes and the result of a few seconds of makeover was generally the most scintillating and breathtaking result you could possibly imagine. where once there was a rickety structure of tin and aluminum surrounded by lesser farm animals, pets, rusting cars or trucks, outdated farm equipment and lawnmowers, various amounts of garbage, pallets and a charlie brown christmas tree or two for landscaping purposes and beauty, the results of the nano second makeover we're truly astounding. imagine all that crap relocated in the same general vicinity minus the tacky aluminum box which has been shredded to add just the right touch of metal and sculpture to the living canvas. as many of you know, anything or anyone outside the box during the tornado makeover generally survives with a true appreciation for witnessing firsthand the master stroke that the world's pre-eminent designer creates.



we have a handful of those very same eyesores up and down the valley here in mediterranea but unfortunately we're not exactly overrun with tornadoes. for now we shall endure the shortcomings and hope that "single wide extreme makeover" makes it's way here before the realization hits the network executives that only a small percentage of the population enjoys watching their cousins get new digs while the majority of us would settle for a bulldozer should mother nature not have the time or inclination for all the makeovers needed throughout the single wide universe. i've had an eye on one here from the get go and hope to procure it soon for what will hopefully be a happy, festive occasion when the producers find their way to my front door with the great news that my tin teepee has been selected from among thousands for that 3500 dollar sprucing up that it and so many others deserve. now that's reality tv if ever there were such a thing.



maybe i should stick to food. don't get me started on rogaine foam. something tells me that product will find it's way to places that shouldn't have hair. imagine the havoc it would reek should our less than furry friends get ahold of that. we'll surely put a warning on the can. i think it's time to shave my head again. i'll try to post a photo of some of the neighborhoods' finest wobbly boxes soon so we can alert the tv folks that we have makeovers waiting to happen. until next time.





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