hooba's cabinet

hooba here


the results are in and thanks to all of you who voted. don't you feel better now knowing that a thumpin' was administered with this election. our fearless leader described the events as a "thumpin'" for his party and while i must admit i've been to a few parties where thumpins' were a part of the festivities, none were politically motivated. generally elevated testosterone seemed to be the platform that encouraged the discourse to morph into a free for all that usually ended up with local law enforcement types involved. most of you realize that hooba doesn't need much motivation to party and prefers to keep politics out of the equation while consuming adult beverages. when or if i do decide to run, i find that out the back door is your best bet. you can always get the car later. so i guess if you're a democrat let the party begin but please don't use the same tired excuses to explain your lack of leadership as i tend toward originality even if it's not quite the truth. we look forward to the next excercise in the constitutional process. not that i'm advocating excercise mind you but hey the experts suggest we raise our heart rates on occasion and therefore i'll go get a beer and be right back.



in the spirit of leadership and bi-partisan cooperation hooba is exploring the possibility of assembling a cabinet for his new venture. the kitchen itself lacks even the most basic or rudimentary storage facilities but that won't stop me from fashioning a space capable of holding every piece of equipment and utensil imaginable. i spent the afternoon rearranging the 400 sq. ft. or so that comprises the kitchen and found that with some imagination i could transform my work area into a cross between the city dump--we call them transfer stations here in husum--and a version inspired by extreme makeover. picture if you can a large square. put a smaller square inside the larger one and you'll get an idea of the flow. all kitchens need flow and if it keeps raining flow will take on a new meaning as the leak in the roof is right in the middle. this is a very scientific process designed to eliminate wasted steps, motions, space, and thought. now you see where i come into the mix as wasted thought is generally the result i have when trying to do something scientific. hooba is a creative, right side of the brain type animal and thus has to think and rethink the entire process constantly. since i have no cabinets you can begin to see my dilemma and why it's better to be creative rather than scientific. i think back to algebra and realize now exactly what pie are square means. i'm befuddled--this might require another beer. the ceiling height discourages hanging anything as my head tends to notice that most everything is too low. i avoided the thumpins' at most of the parties but the ceiling will make up for lost time and my head has enough knots already. as geoff goldblum said in his remake of "the fly" help me, help me.


many of you are curious as to how hooba's will be staffed. i'll take my cue from the executive branch of our government and create meaningless puppet positions--i.e. fema-- for the sake of a least appearing to be a fine dining establishment. you are likely familiar with those charts that look like a family tree. thankfully my family tree had many branches but that won't keep me from constructing something innovative and cutting edge. there are those who think our tree needs a little trimming with yours truly the first to be pruned but hooba thrives on skeptics. i'll be the chef, sous chef, line cook, prep cook, pantry person, saucier, poissonier, entremetier, patisserie, boulangerie, dishwasher, pot scrubber, janitor, and handyman. i like hats. the front of the house will be staffed by my new asst. and all round professional wait person the one and only dawn. she has local cred and a legion of diners willing to follow her to the trough. trust me if we don't find anymore help soon we'll be serving from a trough. that would certainly make my job easier. those of you from the midwest might remember those feedlots that seemed to be very efficient at feeding large numbers of critters in a very short time. we're all about efficiency here at hooba's. seriously it's all about the food not necessarily the presentation. correct me if i'm wrong. when you're ready to strap on the feed bag we'll be here with the oats.


i'm off to the refrigerator again so i'll leave you with the musings of one frank zappa--i am the chrome dinette, i am the eggs of all persuasions--when you visit you'll get it. we're toying with the idea of bringing your own plate. se ya around like a donut.



hooba the perplexed