whack attack

a huge hooba hola to the peeps


hooba here watching the moonshine over the mountain. the orb in the sky not the juice in the jug. sunday's update must still be circling in cyberspace as apparently it hasn't reached any of you. i'd like to thank those of you who sent your home remedies for poison oak to young hooba. between bernadette, a doctor and a dermatologist we seem to have cured the rash. hooba and gus send a big thank you to all. should it happen to any of you hooba will forward the salve.

many of you ask how things are going with the seniors in west linn and hooba appreciates your concern. seems this week there is a bit of a bug in the neighborhood and that means many are enjoying a liquid diet. it's ashame that the flu shots are still a week or two away but that will not deter the kitchen from delivering what the peeps want. hooba and some of his fellow workers have started bowling on monday nights in a co-ed league in tigard and quite honestly we ain't that good. thank god for the handicap as it's worth about 200 or more pins a game. the "gutternauts" have shirts but are just good enough to avoid being killed every week and thus far we're in a battle for first. hooba will keep you posted. seems he can't crack the 200 mark but it's on the horizon. it's the shoes ala mars.

hooba sends a shout out to his friend mike in phx for sending a cd he burned for the folks here at husum's hangout. plenty of great country music and some humor mixed in for grins. nice work mike and thanks again. that got hooba to thinking about recording his own cd of country tunes. when hooba thinks country he thinks about some of the same crap you hear on the radio nowadays. seems it ain't country if it ain't all about "lovin', lying, drinking, and cheatin' ". hooba and a bunch of them hollywood stars have many similarities in that department. that said this cd will be chock full of sure fire hits for your listening enjoyment and could be a platinum chart buster. don't think for a minute that hooba hasn't considered this before but the timing happens to be just about right for his foray into the nashville sound. here's a rundown of tunes that will get your toes tapping and bring a smile to your faces. let hooba know what you think.

you aren't the first whack job i've dated

let's be honest, just don't expect it from me

my neighbors recycle is full of my empties

why get a job when i'll find a sucker to be my sugar daddy?

need space? check between your ears

my expectations don't apply to me

are you sure there's more to life than sleeping, drinking and sex?

i met him for lunch and left you before dinner

how much chardonnay is too much chardonnay?

you thought i was a mess and then you saw the trailer

i thought supertramp was an 80's rock group

if any of you have suggestions or changes let hooba know before he hits the studio. rest assured you'll be the first to get this one time offer via email or the website. there will be no shipping or handling charges as that generally is where these kinds of hit cd's make there money. should there be a profit we'll give it to charity, which lately the restaurant falls into that category. like hooba always says "if that ain't country i'll kiss your ***".

now onto more pertinent things such as the "RIB NIGHTS" which will begin this saturday. the kinks have been worked out of the hillbilly smoker and john and hooba are confident that we can deliver a product unlike any other here in the gorge. like the menu itself the price is yet to be determined but rest assured that the ribs will be the equal of or surpass the pulled pork sandwiches. the mere fact that you can't get them elsewhere should be enough. hooba will let you decide if they are worthy.

hooba would like to thank our friends who've dropped by in the past couple of weeks and they include michelle and teri from seattle who were in for golf and lunch last sat. the gang from the inn of the white salmon as we seem to be on the same page. marsha and the media tour for including "husum's hangout" in the activities of the day. marsh, doris and karen for going back to back last weekend. gerry and smasher even thought the bears lost and certainly not least of all mike and jessica for playing scrabble and watching playoff baseball. we'll continue to blaze the trail for those of you who wish to be a part of it and in the meantime hooba will sit on the porch staring at the magnificent example of god's creation while thinking about all of you who continue to be the best customers around. as the fab four would say "the love you take is equal to the love you make". name the song and the album and win huge prizes. be happy and vote.


hooba the songwriter


this weeks dinner winner is our friend mike walker, a real live nephew of our uncle sam

hooba changes his underwear

greetings fellow fashionistas,


hooba here on a rare thursday night to regale you with an update from mediterranea. the weather is precisely why we live here. granted it's only two or three days a week for me lately but nonetheless outstanding for the end of summer. with football now part of the equation hoobas' thoughts drift to fall and the anniversary of his birth. should any of you care, and if the good lord is willing, he'll celebrate another year on this tiny orb in a couple of weeks. hooba would prefer you hoisting a cocktail or beer instead of showering him with expensive gifts as he's already got a bunch of crap that he can't even begin to find a home for. hooba's not sure he has a home even though he owns property in different counties and has a swell little dive here in the wilds of the gorge. he'll let you know when it happens.


it's not often that young hooba decides to make a major change in his attire and as most of you know shorts are always the togs ju jour, so it was with some reluctance that he took the advice of a fashion consultant and decided to change his most personal attire. seems that boxers are not the choice of the metrosexual crowd anymore as they have been replaced with boxer briefs. hooba is anything but brief but took the leap of faith thinking that it couldn't hurt. although painless, imagine his chagrin when standing at the urinal today as those said briefs were on backwards. routine being what it is as we get older he was ready to relieve himself when low and behold he was confused when access to the plumbing was denied by the very fabric that makes these boxers brief. he thunk surely a design flaw but upon further inspection hooba realized that indeed the accessory he was most accustomed to with the antiquated version of boxers was on his backside. hooba never gave much thought to what change might bring but rest assured he was not happy. if hooba's mom were here she would have put his name in the appropriate place to avoid confusion. the old days whence young hooba wore no underwear at all seem better suited versus a fashion faux pas. perish the thought mi amigos. should you like to weigh in on the topic please do so but please be brief. you knew that was coming.


while practicing his third person hooba would like to remind you all that we shall close early sunday for a catered event here at the restaurant. hooba don't do politics but when money is involved he will be the businessman he should be. at 2 O'CLOCK we'll be hosting a fundraiser here for the duration of the afternoon and evening. since politics and religion don't mix here at hooba's what better day to have something like this than sunday? hooba ain't tellin' ya who to vote for rather he would encourage you all to vote. at this point he's leaning toward the duo with that hot chick from alaska. think about it. what says "america" more than teen pregnancy and gun totin' governor? that's a joke. when it's all said and done hooba will continue to vote third party in hopes that at some point in the future we will have a legitimate third choice. if nothing else watch football while realizing that we still live in the greatest country in the world. china might have won more gold but we won more medals. who invented the swiffer? you get the picture.


there is a menu change in the air here at the restaurant. many of you wonder why we don't advertise the pulled pork sandwich on the menu board. much like advertising itself don't you all think it better that the regulars should know more than the first timers who wander in off the highway thinking that we have french fries or ranch dressing? things won't change dramatically but there will be minor adjustments. if you need a reason to go elsewhere rest assured we'll provide it but as you all know the food here is pretty good although the service a bit suspect. would you want it any other way? the hillbilly smoker has potential for more as some of you may have experienced when john smoked the wings last weekend. dare to eat steak.


hooba will sign off by giving a shout out to our friend paul "the fearnicator" fearn as evidently he aced the 17th hole at orchard hills this past week. had hooba not himself had a hole in one in his golf career he might be envious of the accomplishment. good for you paul. hooba will say that a hangover is no match for the adrenaline rush you get when holing a shot on the links. the next one's on me my friend. thanks to rick and mary for visiting this past weekend and our friend ailona for bringing her crew up for golf and dinner. the beauty of this place is that it knows no boundaries and other than the fact that the proprietor has his moments it tends to be rather accomodating. we continue to encourage the best customers and the coolest people in the neighborhood to drop in anytime. lest we not forget that the JAYHAWKS are still NATIONAL CHAMPS and the football team is off to a fine start. tune in at 4 pm saturday on fsn to see for yourself. for those of you who wonder why we have no oregon flag hanging out front get real. do you live in oregon? if you do why not get a university of nike flag and maybe we'll consider putting it out with the jayhawk and washington banners. until our next chat i will leave you with this--when i die don't bury me down in that cold, cold ground, just cut me up and pass me all around--thanks to john prine and all of you. be well and happy.


hooba the abstractor


this weeks dinner winner is molly m simms

where have you gone joe dimaggio and hooba?

yikes not only weeks but months since the last post. many of you know that i send a weekly update from mediterranea that qualifies as blogging. if you'd like to be part of that equation send your email address and we'll make the necessary arrangements. i'll try my best to reacquaint myself with blogdom from here on out. seems that hooba gets writers block when it's time to sit and type but then myriad topics come to mind when i'm working or driving back and forth between husum and west linn. we'll begin a series of sonnets or novellas for your reading pleasure on topics that interest most of us who live not so normal lives. kind of like those saturday movie shorts back when we we're kids. you remember the old days we hope and if you don't then just wing it. if you have any suggestions please send them hooba's way and he'll take them under advisement. let's try to keep it at least r rated so the chillins can participate as well. hooba will add photos as needed or at least drawings or sketches. that's all for now as it's bed time. maybe bed time stories are a swell place to start. let me know. pasta la veesta baby.